Where were you?

14 years have gone by. This day should be just like any other day, but it's not. It hasn't been for 14 years and it never will be again. Today is a day that many mourn the loss of loved ones and the loss of security. 14 years ago it didn't matter what race you were, what your sexual preference was, where you lived, what your job was, etc. 14 years ago we all stood together as a nation pissed off and horrified by the vicious attacks on our soil. Our resolve to fight the enemy and never forget the wrongs done to us was strong. For some, that resolve has waned and now it's becoming a fleeting memory. It's becoming just one more historical record in our nations' history book (which is a whole other discussion). There are those though that remember that day as if it were yesterday, who still become very emotional at the thoughts and who truly stand behind the phase "We will NEVER forget."

It was a pretty cold day in September in 2001. I remember this because I was buying hot chocolate for my sister and I at the grocery store by our house. I was a senior in high school, my sister was a sophomore. I drove the '81 Ford pickup truck that my parents had forever. When we pulled up to the store I told my sister to find a CD to put in or find some music on the radio because I was uninterested in listening to talk radio. I was having a hard time waking up and needed something to pick up my energy. When I got back to the truck she had found a CD and we drove to school.

We headed to our spot in the Arts building where our other friends gathered before school. We were first there so we sat and waited. We didn't have long to wait before one of our friends arrived and we were greeted with "Did you hear what happened?" Our reply was obviously "No" and he proceeded to tell us about the situation happening on the east coast. Stunned would be the only word I could use to describe my reaction. Our choir teacher arrived very shortly after this and let us into the choir room to watch the news on the TV in there. We walked in and watched. It looked like something out of a movie, but knowing it wasn't was terrifying. We stood and watched the first tower fall. I remember covering my mouth with my hand in disbelief and just being in complete shock. I didn't have ties to New York or the east coast in general so I didn't have the immediate emotional reaction that a lot of people had. Also as a 17 year old I suppose I didn't really understand the impact that it would have.

Unfortunately, the day was to proceed though not a single lesson would be taught. We were all glued to the TV and radios. I remember my English teacher the most clearly. She was always such a bubbly, happy lady. She made learning enjoyable (though I liked English anyway so that was never a problem for me) and she always had energy. Today she sat at her desk almost catatonic staring at the TV and clutching her cell phone. The only thing she said was to read quietly and watch the news if we would like to and that was all that was said that day in that class. She had family in New York that she was now unable to reach. She looked empty and lost and my heart broke for her. Again, I didn't have ties like this to the situation so to see someone so effected made my heart hurt. The rest of my school day proceeded pretty much in silence. It seemed like we were all walking through a cloud. It was somber and hushed.

As I was a senior and only had a half day's worth of classes when I left I went to Walgreen's, where I worked, because frankly I had nothing else to do and no where else to be. As I walked in the manager, my boss, was on the intercom asking for a moment of silence due to the situation in New York. We all bowed our heads and I am sure we all prayed. Through the day more news poured in about the additional planes at the pentagon and in Pennsylvania.

That evening I sat on my bed wrapped in my blank watching the president's address to the nation regarding the days' events. The magnitude of the events started to set in for me and out of nowhere I just cried. Tears streamed down my face thinking of all of the people that lost their lives, all the people who lost loved ones, all the people who were helping search for survivors, all the people who didn't know how to react to something so huge, but mostly I cried because I was scared. I was scared because I really didn't know what was going on, what was coming next, how we were going to fix this, and I felt that the secure foundation that this country has was broken. At 17 I was just scared and lost.

I remember as I watched the address on TV digging through my bedside table drawer for a book I rarely picked up. Once I found it I put it on my lap and looked at it. "Holy Bible" it said in gold letters. They say that this book has answers, that it can bring peace. I didn't understand that really because I was not brought up in a religious household, but at that moment I was willing to try. For some reason the only passage that came to mind as it was one of the only ones I knew was Psalm 23:1-4.

A psalm of David. 1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

It seemed appropriately dark, but equally promising. In my moment of need I was comforted, but continued to cry. I wept with the rest of the country and burned into my memory "I will never forget."

In the days following the attacks the recruiters office's were flooded with men and women wanting to avenge our country's loss. We all knew that the retaliation was going to be quick and we were going to have to fight back. Friends and acquaintances alike joined the ranks of our military and those who didn't watched and vowed continued support.

Years have gone by and I can see the support of some waning. Others are as strong as if it all happened yesterday. Personally, I am married to a service member in the Arizona National Guard. He did a one year tour in Kuwait in a Technician/transportation unit who provided support to convoys going in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan. We were grateful that he was on post in Kuwait a good majority of the time and that meant he was safer than most the fear and the threat of danger was still there. Our troops have my undying support and would despite my military connection. These men and women risk their lives day in and day out for the safety of our country and to allow the continuing benefits that we have. Our country has faced very hard times and is currently walking through a difficult period, but I pray that we are able to continue to remember that there are bigger threats to our lives and our ways of life beside the individual next door that may have a different skin color or the girl down the street who has a wife.

I leave this post with " I WILL NEVER FORGET" and "I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT OUR TROOPS." I also am going to take this time to have my own personal moment of silence. Please do the same if you are so inclined.