I love it when you lie to me

It is a near statistical certainty that you are lied to at least once a day. From the simple “fine” in response to the how is your day question when you can see in their eyes they are falling apart to the outright bold faced lie that could potentially shatter your world they are all lies and we encounter them frequently. The magnitude in which these lies may affect a person is personal and not challenged by the offender. Every lie, no matter how big or how small, can affect the level of trust a person has. Once trust has been broken it is a monumental task to repair that if you are able to at all. It may not even be one lie that kills the trust, but a large number of seemingly little lies that add up. Again, how someone reacts to lies, big, small, one or many, is personal to them.

I have had huge lies told to me that broke me to my core throughout my 30+ years. I have also been told small lies that I allow to roll off my back. Most are of no importance to me I understand are sometimes said to allow another person to protect the fragility of their sanity (i.e. the “fine” comment). The mountains of lies are starting to get to me though. If you tell me you are going to do something and don't or that you have done something and you didn't and it is a frequent thing my trust in your comments is going to suffer… a lot. There are two quotes that I kind of love that apply here:

1. A person is only as good as their word – Author Unknown
2. Little drops of water, Little grains of sand, Make a mighty ocean, And the pleasant land – Julia Carney (1845)

What I take away from those is 1) a good person will stand by their word. People need to understand their limitations and take that into account before they give their word. If they do give their word and are habitual in going back on their word what then does their word mean? Nothing. This same quote applies to the large lies as it does not require a habitual behavior to crush the worth of their word. The effect is immediate and any trust is usually broken in regards to the integrity of the person. The next take away is 2) that the little lies can cause the same effect as the big ones, it just takes more of them. I touched on that a bit, but in addition, sometimes the little lies can hurt more. To me constant little lies tell a person that they are, at no time, worth the truth which shows an incredible lack of respect. I really don’t care, honestly, if your intentions were good, the end result is what it is. Let me throw another quote at ya: “Hell is paved with good intentions” – Samuel Johnson (1775).

Personally, I try very hard to not allow the hurt felt after being lied to to dictate my path in life or my emotional state, but sometimes I succumb to the weaker side and freak out. I am kind of having one of those moments today as this has been a week of blatant lies and half-truths. I have been told that I should get over the hurt that those lies inflicted, that I shouldn’t feel the way I feel because it’s not a big deal, or lied to still in response to a lie I found out about. You know what I have to say about that now that I have repaired some of my broken spirit? Fuck you! I feel the way I feel and I refuse to apologize for it. It is my prerogative to remain in whatever emotional state I may be in if I wish to. If I’m hurt about it, let me be hurt. If you’re the one who inflicted the hurt, work on fixing it sincerely and frequently. If I’m mad, let me be mad. Last thing you need if I’m mad is me turning my anger on you for belittling my emotion. I am so done with being lied to and I am no longer tolerating it. This is how I personally feel at this moment, but I can guarantee that the above advice would be beneficial for everyone. No one wants to feel challenged or demeaned when they are already weakened. 

As to not go into a complete tirade here I am going to leave with this: think before you speak. If you have limitations don’t make promises that exceed them. If you are directly asked a question t lying about is only going to make the situation worse because chances are the person asking already knows the answer. And lastly, if you’re lying to cover your ass before someone finds out about something, ask yourself why you put yourself in that position in the first place.