Blood does not mean loyal

It would seem I have been MIA for a minute. I've been dealing with some family stuff, personal stuff, and life in general. I'm sure you understand. In the last few weeks I have discovered that I must have an old soul as some of my ideals about how the world should work seem antiquated. Simple respect for others, a desire to help, a work ethic that dictates that you get out what you put in. It would probably amaze people how much easier life would be if they were more kind. In my head I would bend over backwards for someone if I had the means to help them. I actually feel guilty sometimes for not being able to help more. My therapist has prescribed moderation on this one. It really makes no matter to me whether the person in need is a co-worker, friend, family member, etc. I do what I can when I can. Recently and in the past I have become infuriated with people who clearly have the means to lend assistance, but turn a blind eye to blattenly difficult situations. Wanna guess who this group of people would be? Family! Blood relations who you are raised to believe would be there for you no matter what are the quickest to turn their backs.

You know something? I wonder if these selfish individuals actually even consider for an instant how difficult it is to ask for help. It takes an immense amount of strength and desperation for independent people to come to anyone for help. They, very unfortunately, falsely believe that people who have raised them, grown up with them, or are closely related would lend a comforting shoulder or kind aid if needed. Instead of a response of "of course I will do what I can" they get frostbite. "Well I have some money saved, but I'm going to need it 5 years from now so there's no way I can help." "Well if I'm your last resort I can help, but I expect to be paid back with interest. Let me draw up the papers." "Doesn't your friend have a couch you could sleep on [even though I have a completely empty room to offer]?" "Let me make sure I can do that for you" only to bail the day before they're needed. These are actual phases that I have heard in the past from friends and family who have asked their family for help. Again this blows my mind.

It really puts a dagger right through your heart. You see in the papers all the time too. Kids being killed by the parents or family members who are supposed to protect them, adult children abusing their elderly disabled parents, children being left to begrudging family members because of poor situations. These examples make me absolutely ill and are a large reason of why I can't stand the news sometimes. It is a wonder that anyone trusts anyone. If you can't trust family who can you trust. Again that may be an antiquated idea that has been lost to the ages.

Then there are the family members that don't necessarily turn you down when you need something, but are just hateful behind your back. They use your weaknesses, fears or honest mistakes to paint you as a horrible person to other people, someone not worthy of having something good, or just downright talking shit behind your back. Again these are the people who should have your back, not stab you in it. This has been a personal issue for me in the past for sure and I don't see it changing.
My suggestion here is to simply be wary of who you talk to about what. Family, friend, support person, stranger, whatever. There is a phrase in the Miranda Rights that states: "Anything you say can and will be used against you..." How true that is. Anyone can use anything you say or write against you. It is simply ammunition that they hold for later. When it pleases or will benefit them they will use that information to wound you or try to. There is another small piece to the Miranda Rights that states: "You have the right to remain silent." Watch what you say and to who. I'm not saying to keep secrets, but know your audience. Trust is broken quickly and takes a VERY LONG time to gain it back. Trust is broken faster if you are family. Just because a person is blood doesn't mean they are loyal to you.